Comedy AU
by Fem-Slash Writer13-05
Summary: AU, takes place during Party of One. Twilight goes to bring Pinkie to Sweet Apple Acres, and it doesn't end well. K for mild cursing and suggestive humor and situations later on.


Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Pinkie, are you in there? Please come out!"

"_What is Twilight doing here? Come to mock me!?_" Pinkie wondered angrily to herself.

Pinkie Pie scowled, and remained silent. The knocking continued. "_Go away!_" she mumbled.

"Pinkie, was that you? Please open the door!" Twilight pleaded.

"No! You just wanna laugh at me and talk about what a loser I am! I'm staying right here with my _real_ friends, thank-you-very-much!"

"Pinkie Pie, don't make me break down this door!"

"Oh no, I'm _so _scared!" Pinkie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and Twilight was standing right in front of Rocky, her face mere inches from the top rock. She blinked in confusion, then backed up and turned around. "There you are, Pinkie!"

Pinkie said nothing, just sat down and glared.

"What in Equestria are you doing with these... inanimate objects with party hats?" Twilight said, looking around in bewilderment.

"_What _inanimate objects with party hats? These are my newbest friends!"

"Okayyyy..." She shook her head. "Anyway... Pinkie, you have to come with me!"

Pinkie scowled.

"Pinkie, come with me willingly or, so help me, Luna, I will teleport you there myself!"

"She's not goin' anywhere!" Pinkie mumbled in a fake deep voice, as she shoved Rocky forward.

"Wh-What _is_ this?" Twilight poked at the pile of rocks with a concerned expression.

"Hey, watch it!" "Rocky" exclaimed angrily.

"Yeah, he's my friend!"

"Your friend... Pinkie, that doesn't even make sense! He can't think!"

"Can, too!" Pinkie yelled.

"No, he can't, he's not even sentient!" Twilight gestures with a hoof, accidentally knocking over one of the rocks.

"You killed him!"

"He was never alive! He's- Look, Pinkie," Twilight tried again in a softer tone. "All I'm asking is that you please, _please_, **_please_** just come with me to Sweet Apple Acres. I need to show you-something."

"But my friends don't like my parties and don't want to be my friends anymore. You just came to laugh at me and call me names. Admit it!"

"Pinkie Pie, you know I would never do anything of the sort."

"You already _have_! You've been avoiding me and making excuses all day! You all think I'm stupid! A stupid, crazy idiot! Just a simple comic relief character!"

"Pinkie, we're your friends. We like you for who you are, and would never call you a comic relief character." "_Even though you kind of are..._" Twilight tried to nuzzle Pinkie, but Pinkie jerked away suddenly.

"But my friends don't like my parties and don't want to be my friends anymore!" Pinkie Pie stubbornly repeated.

"Oh, Pinkie. You know that's absurd. We all love your parties and we would never, ever _not_ want to be your friends!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed.

Still, Pinkie's hair stayed deflated and Pinkie didn't respond. Twilight sighed. She hated seeing the happiest pony in Equestria so sad. It made her uncomfortable. It was like the world had turned upside down. Left was right, up was down, Pinkie was sad. It was an emotion she'd never seen on the playful pink party pony. Hay, it was the only emotion she'd seen on Pinkie besides pure joy. She had to cheer up Pinkie; that was all there was to it.

_"Anyway,"_ she thought, glancing around at the assorted random objects Pinkie had been talking to just a few moments ago, _"I read in my psychology textbook that talking to inanimate objects is a major symptom of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and many other mental disorders and diseases. Judging by the extreme mood changes, I bet it's bipolar disorder... I also bet that if I take her to her surprise party, she'll be so happy, she'll exhibit the manic side of her newly-diagnosed manic depression, and be back to 'normal' so we can forget this ever happened until she finally cracks in a burst of depression and commits suicide!"_

She would have to try. "Pinkie." She said, softly now. "I love you. We were only avoiding you so you wouldn't discover the surprise party we planned for you at Sweet Apple Acres. I came here to take you to your surprise party, and after the party I was hoping I could talk to you in private so I could give you something special."

There was a pause. "Really? Pinkie asked, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. _"She loves me?" _Pinkie thought, surprised.

The worried unicorn mare nodded. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Twilight Pinkie Promised™, going through the motions, though this time remembering to close her eye before putting her hoof on it.

"YIPPEE!" Pinkie shouted, leaping into the air. _"She __loves__ me!"_she thought. Twilight smiled, relieved to see her friend back to normal, hair and all. But then she looked up and gasped. Pinkie was coming down, back first! She barely had time to think as Pinkie plummeted towards her. Somehow, Twilight managed to put her forelegs up to catch Pinkie.

The purple pony stumbled, not used to holding anything more heavy than a book bag. Luckily she just managed to keep from dropping Pinkie, muscles straining to hold the grown mare up. She probably would have been able to hold her weight just long enough to set Pinkie down carefully on the floor, if not for what Pinkie did next. The sudden sensation of somepony's lips on hers startled Twilight, and she simultaneously dropped Pinkie and leaped backwards.

Pinkie rubbed her head where it had hit the floor, and looked up at Twilight with a hurt look. Twilight watched as Pinkie's hair deflated in record speed. "B-b-but you said… I th-thought you loved me… You said you did!" Pinkie stammered, her eyes welling up with tears. "When in Equestria did I say that!?" Twilight asked, confused and shocked from the sudden mood whiplash.

She was even more shocked when she saw Pinkie's face go from sadness, which was bad enough, to anger! "Just now, when you told me about the surprise party! You said you loved me. **YOU. _PINKIE.__PROMISED._**_"_  
"Wha-I-" Twilight stammered, still shocked by the pure rage in Pinkie's eyes. Suddenly it dawned on her. "Oh… Oh, Celestia!" Twilight swore. She considered trying to explain the misunderstanding, but she glanced at the steam coming out of Pinkie's ears and figured she had about 3.5 seconds to live. So, she did what any sensible pony would do after breaking a Pinkie Promise™. She ran.

**Meanwhile, at the barn in Sweet Apple Acres:**

Rainbow Dash fidgets in her hiding place. "What is taking them so long?"  
"It has been a while. Ah reckon ah could use a bathroom break." Applejack replied. Rarity wrinkled her nose disapprovingly, but remained silent. "M-maybe they got lost?" Fluttershy squeaked. "Why would they? It's not like we live in bucking Manehattan." exclaimed Rainbow Dash. "Dash here is right. Ah think it's mighty fishy they haven't gotten here yet." "Now, now, let's not go jumping to conclusions. Maybe Pinkie has so many mental issues that she relies on our attention and love for sanity and when we started ignoring her she went insane and started talking to a pile of rocks, a bag of flour, and a bucket of turnips." Rarity said, calmly. "Don't forget balls of lint!" Applejack piped up. Everyone laughed heartily. When the laughter died down, Dash stamped her hoof.

"Well, I'm sick of standing still, so Imma go look for 'em. Ya comin', AJ?" "Ah reckon. Ah _really_ need to pee."  
"Then let's _go_ already!" Dash said impatiently. "Hold your buckin' horses, I'm comin', I'm comin'." AJ replied, stumbling as she stood up from her hiding place.  
"Um, may I come, too… if it's not too much to ask?"  
Rainbow sighed rudely. "Fi-i-i-i-ne." She said, reluctantly. "But you better not slow us down!" "Um, I won't. I mean, I'll try not to, um, I…" Fluttershy trailed off, squeaking adorably.  
And so, the (mostly) brave adventurers set off on a quest. A quest to find Pinkie! A quest that in no way would go horribly, horribly wrong.

**Meanwhile**

_back at Twilight's Library_

Spike is taking a well-deserved nap, having spent all day cleaning the library from top to bottom. Suddenly, Twilight burst through the front door, locking and barricading it behind her. "Spike, what are you doing!? Help me barricade the house!"

"Whazzgonon...", grumbled the sleepy dragon. Nonetheless, he got up, and quickly helped Twilight bar all the windows and doors and turn off the lights before asking for an explanation. His eyes widened as Twilight told him all about the surprise birthday party, and how Pinkie had gone crazy and breaking the Pinkie Promise™, and the extensive chase scene that went on before Twilight finally reached the Library.

Spike stared in shock for a while. "Wow." he finally said. "So you broke a Pinkie Promise™? Are you sure you want to stay in Ponyville, and not, you know, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE?"

"Oh, Spike, Pinkie may be... relentless, and... impossibly fast.. and capable of feats no mortal should be able to..." She trailed off, quickly running for her suit case and packing half the library in it. "Okay, let's go!" she said, levitating Spike onto her back and removing the couch in front of the door, unlocking it, and running out into the night. Well, not really night. And not really running, because her suitcase had been filled with five pounds of books.


End file.
